Something Swift this way comes…

People Say There’s A Decline In Western Civilization. I Don’t Think That’s True. I Think Civilization Is Making Great Strides Forward….I Think There’s A Tremendous Decline In The Attitudes Of Western Civilization. I Mean, Seriously. My Only Point…What The Hell Happened To Customer Service? When I Started At A Little Sporting Goods Store At Age 15…I Was Taught What Customer Service Was…..Only Because The Unholy Witch That Owned The Place Didn’t Know What It Was….And I Just Kept Saying “That Ain’t Right”. Since Then I’ve Had The Fortune Of Working, For The Most Part, For Companies, Employers, And Manangers Who Actually Care What Their Customers Think And How They Are Treated. I Was Taught By Kroger That It Does Matter If A Customer Gets What They Need When They Want It. I Was Taught By Advance Auto Parts That There’s A Limit To Having Fun With Your Customer’s And A Time To Draw The Line At “Kanooter Valves” And Get The Job Done. I Was Taught By Radio Shack, For Nine Years….That Your Paycheck Walks In The Front Door Every Time You Hear The Chime…Not When You Feel Like It. You Want To See The Defininition Of Customer Service…Walk In To The Shack In The Colonial Mall In Valdosta…Find The Little Black Haired Man From Venezuela, And Present Him With A Customer Service Issue. You’re Going To Get One Of Two Responses. “No Problem” Or “I Can’t Fix That Here…But Let Me Make A Phone Call And I’ll See Who Can”. I Learned From My Next Employer Ways To Get Around The System, And Still Make People Happy, And Make Yourself Money, And My Current Employer Is 110% Customer Focused…And I Think That’s The Way It Should Be. Now, Don’t Get Me Wrong, I’m Not Above Giving Anyone The Royal “F-You” With A Smile On My Face, I’ve Said That, And Shown That A Good Number Of Times…Probably More Than I Should Have….But There Are Places Out There Now That Just Totally Blow Away Anything That Resembles Customer Service.

Anyone Been To The Mcdonald’s Drive Through Lately? A Ten Minute Wait For Two Double Cheeseburgers And Two Cokes Is Not Uncommon Anymore. And Now I’ve Figured Out Why They Started Putting Two Windows In….One To Take Your Money And One To Give You Your Food. When There Was One Window….You Could Very Quietly Get Extremely Frustrated At The Lack Of Service In A Timely Manner And Leave Before You Ever Got To The Window. Now….They Hurry Up And Rush You To The First Window, And Take Your Money…And Then Take Their Sweet Time At The Second…..Take Note…The Time You Spend In A Drive Through Isn’t Ordering, And It Isn’t Paying….It’s Waiting Between Paying And Getting Your Food. Think I’m Kidding….Time It Next Trip Through There. You’ll See. And They Aren’t Even Friendly Anymore…They All But Throw Your Food At You And There’s No More “Have A Nice Night” Or “Have A Nice Day”. You Get A ‘Grunt” And A Toss Of The Bag…. And Mcdonalds Is By Far Not The Worst Of It…
Let’s Talk About Being Just Plain Lazy. Sams Club Tire Center Closes At What…7:00? My Wife Bought Her Tires On Her Car There…And With Them Came Free Lifetime Balance And Rotation, And Flat Repair. She Had A Flat Today…And Made It To Sams Club. She Pulled In There At 4:30 In The Afternoon….Two And A Half Hours Before They Close. She Was Told “Sorry, We Can’t Take It Today….” . It Don’t Work That Way. You’re Retail. When Did The Rules Change That Give You The Luxury Of Saying “I’m Not Helping You Because I Don’t Feel Like It”? The Man Sent Her To Wal Mart And Said “We’re Owned By The Same Company, They’ll Honor It Over There”. Amy Calls Me From Wal Mart To Bring Her The Debit Card, Because, Sure Enough, They Wont Honor It. They Say Just Because They’re Owned By The Same Company, Doesn’t Mean They Have To Honor It. We Honor Coupons In Our Store That Dont Even Have Our Name On Them….And Some Of The Ones That Do…Are Expired…And We Do It..Because It Keeps Customers Coming Back. I Called The Sams Club…Got Ahold Of The General Manager…And Said “What Gives?” And He Said “Well, He’s Busy”. Busy Is Not An Excuse For Poor Customer Service. You Want To See Busy? Come Watch Us Work At Our Store About Three Days Before Christmas. Take Tonight For Example. On An Average Night…Our Store Is Straightened, Blocked, Cleaned, And Ready To Go Before We Close To Customers. Not This Week….We’re Open An Hour Later…And We’re Busting Ass The Whole Time..Right Up Until The Doors Close. If A Customer Walks In At 9:59, 20 Seconds Before The Clock Strikes 10:00 – They Are Greeted With The Same Smile, With The Same Service, And They Are Helped With Whatever It Takes, As Best As We Can…And Our Cashier Stands There And Waits Until That Last Customer Has Left….Sure…We Gripe About It Later…But We Do It…Because That’s What Customer Service Is. I Can’t Tell You, In Fifteen Years How Many Fees…Surcharges…Discounts….Coupons…. Whatever… I’ve Eaten Just To Make Customers Happy. My Boss Says “Take Care Of The Customer”. Man, If We Had The Power At 7:30 To Say “Sorry, I Can’t Help You We Close At 10 Pm And I Have To Prepare To Go Home….” The World Would Be A Much Better Place, But I’m Still Not Sure I’d Take That Way Out…Because I Wasn’t Brought Up That Way. I Wasn’t Raised That Way By My Parents, And I’ve Never Been Taught That In Any Job I’ve Ever Worked For. Which Brings Me To My Next Little Gripe..
Let’s Talk About Best Buy…. I Wanted To Know If They Had A Video Game That I’ve Been Hunting For. And I Surely Wasn’t Going To Make A Trip In There All The Way Across Town, Three Days Before Christmas…Without Knowing They Had It. So I Set Out, And As I Left The House, I Called The Store…… First Off, Their Automated System Is About The Dumbest Thing I’ve Ever Seen. Fourteen Levels Deep, And You’re Still Trying To Get To A Live Person. Wait…I Got A Ring…It’s Ringing! And Ringing. And Ringing. And Ringing. And Ringing. Oh, Now It’s Rung So Many Times, The Automated Voice Comes Back And Starts All Over Again. It Was So Bad…That In The 20 Minutes It Took Me To Get Across Town, Nobody Answered The Phone In Six Different Departments. I Walked In The Front Door, With My Phone On Speaker…Still Ringing Off The Hook, And Walked Up To A Person With A Manager’s Name Badge And Laid The Phone On The Counter And Just Looked At Her. She Looked Down At The Phone, Ringing On The Counter, And Said “Aren’t You Going To Answer That?” . I Looked At Her In Awe, Pointed At The Phone By Her Right Hand Blinking And Ringing, And Said “Aren’t You Going To Answer That?” She Was Dumbfounded. She Said “We’re Busy…We Don’t Answer The Phone When We’re Busy. Whoa Buddy…I Only Wish That Applied To Us! I Looked At Her And Said “It Don’t Work That Way…”. She Said “We’re Not Taught That Way”. Man…That’’s A Bold Statement. You’re Not Taught That Way? I’d Like To Teach That Class. How About Taking A Message, Calling Them Back…We Do It When Necessary. If A Phone Goes Four Rings In Our Store….It’s Gone Too Long. Somebody Will Get That Phone. They May Take Message, But The Message Will Get Delivered And It Will Get Returned..
As If That’s Not Bad Enough, Then There’s The Employees Who Are Too Scared To Do Anything! “Let Me Go Ask My Manager”. I Hate That. If You Don’t Have The Power To Make The Decision, And You Have To Go Ask Your Manager, Then I’ll Be Happy To Remove You As The Middle Man. Send Me Your Manager. I’ll Talk Directly To Them. We Don’t Pull That Mess. Within Reason, You Can Go To Any Person In Our Store, And Make A Reasonable Request, And Given The Circumstances, It’ll Probably Happen Without Any Issue. Sometimes We’ll Call For A Manager, Just To Say “Hey, Here’s A Heads Up, I’m Helping This Customer By Doing This Or That”, But We Don’t Go Ask The Manager. If It’s Something Severe Enough, Or Big Enough That We Have To Get A Manager’s Input….Then We Call For The Manager, And They Come And Greet The Customer, In Most Cases. None Of This Running Back And Forth Crap. It’s Fixed Right There….Or The Person Is Politely Told, “I Apologize, But I Can’t Do That”. But It Rarely Happens. We’re (As My Boss Says) “Empowered” To Make A Decision. Common Sense Is The Basis Of Good Customer Service. Let’s See, Thousand Dollar Purchase….Customer Wants Something Free Because They’re Spending All That And Didn’t Anticipate The Cost Of The Extra Item. Let’s Say A Computer. A Thousand Dollar Computer, With A Printer, And A Surge Protector, Etc. They Need The Cable To Hook Up The Printer, But They Don’t Know That Until You Tell Them (You Telling Them Is Also Good Customer Service…Whether They Like It Or Agree With It Or Not). Tough Choice Here…..Usb Cable That Cost The Company 2 Bucks And You Keep A Thousand Dollar Sale…You’re Out 2 Bucks. Or…Argue With Them Over 2 Bucks…And Now What? Congratulations Idiot, You’ve Saved The Company 2 Bucks…And Lost Them 998 Dollars, And Any Opporunity You Had For A Commission Or A Spiff On It. My General Rule, And It’s Never Gotten Me In Trouble….If It’s Under Fifty Bucks, There’s No Need In It Ever Going Across A Manager’s Desk. Own The Problem, Own The Customer. Lose The Problem, Lose The Customer. It’s That Simple. I Learned A Long Time Ago From (I Think) My Father…(I Think He’s The One Who Did This) That If The Phrase “Let Me Go Ask My Manager’’ Gets Uttered, Then You’re Talking To The Wrong Person. If You’re Talking To Someone Who Has Confidence In Themselves, Their Company, And Their Position Within The Company, They Don’t Have To Ask. If The Phrase “Let Me Go Ask My Manager” Comes Out Of Their Mouth, Reply Simply With “If You Have To Go Ask Your Manager, Send The Manager Out Here, I’ll Talk Directly To Them Because They Can Make The Decisions.”
People Say It’s The ‘Generation”. I Don’t Think So. If It Was….The Man In His 40’s At Radio Shack Would Have A Different Opinion Than Me…And One Of My Managers In His Fifties Would Certainly Have A Different Opinion Than All Three. It’s All A Matter Of Customer Service. There’s A Lot Of Catch Phrases That Apply Here…
If You Don’t Take Care Of Your Customers, Somebody Else Will. – Well – Guess What. Burger King Makes Burgers Too…Mcdonalds Can Wait For Me, Instead Of Vice Versa. And I’ll Be Happy To Talk Directly To Your Manager…
We Went To Steak And Shake With Our Friends Right After We Saw The New Rocky Movie A Few Days Before Christmas (A Fabulous Movie If You’ve Not Seen It Or, Bleh… Pirated It). There’s This Girl Who Works There, Obviously Pregnant, And Wearing A Name Tag That Says “Big Belly” In The Name Tag Spot. She Worked Her Ass Off…We Were Wondering If The Steak And Shake ‘’Egg Nog Shake’’ Was Good Before We Bought (Egg Nog Shakes Are One Of The Things Mcdonalds Ever Did Right..) And She Brought Us Samples Of It. Good Thing Too. It Wasn’t That Great , So We All Got Something Else. She Calmly Explained They Were Out Of Baked Beans (At 10:30 At Night, That’s Understandable I Guess) And Offered Something Else. She Kept Drinks Full, She Got The Orders Right, And She Kept Smiling In Obvious Discomfort From Running So Fast In Her Condition. She Got A Hellacious Tip From At Least Our Table That Night…I Can Tell You That. . See….That Kind Of Work Ethic Doesn’t Exist Anymore In A Lot Of Places And If It Does, It’s Only With The Manager, Who Doesn’t Enforce It. Here’s A Tip I Learned From My Friend Matt When Dealing With Obvious Slacktards In Restaraunts. If You Notice That You’re Having Trouble Getting That First Refill….Take A Few Dollar Bills (Five, Six, Seven…Whatever You Feel Might Be Adequately Close To 15% Of Your Anticipated Bill) And Put Them On The Edge Of The Table. Challenge That Server, And Tell Them…”That’s Your Tip, Whenever A Glass Hits Bottom At This Table, We Take Away A Dollar”. One Of Two Things Will Happen. With Four People Sitting At The Table, You’ll Either Get Great Service, Or They’ll Get A Lousy Tip. Try It. It Works. Or Do What My Father-In-Law Does. Leave A Quarter In The Bottom Of The Glass, I Love That One!
I Believe That In A Majority Of Places, “Customer Service” Is An Oxymoron. “Customer Service” Has Been In Its Death Throes For A While. I Know That, But For Some Reason It Still Ticks Me Off…Maybe Its’ The Fact That I Was Raised Differently, And There Are Still Places Out There (Like Where I Work) That Still Do Believe In It….