Something Swift this way comes…

There are few things in this world I like better than to be able to make someone laugh, and few people that I like to make laugh better than my big sis. She’s so much like me – so serious on the inside all the time – that she doesn’t get to laugh at much in life. She gets so busy worrying about making everything perfect for my nephew that she doesn’t pay attention to life as it goes by her, just like I do for my family and friends. But when we get together I get a chance to relax with her and talk, bond in a way that we never got to when I was a kid. She was too busy feeding me powdered tea by the spoonful to see if I’d eat it, and I was too busy being an annoying little snot (Hey monkey, I’m /still/ not touching you!) to make much of a spark of friendship. Not to mention the fact that she is twelve years older than I am and was in college by the time I was actually cognizant of the ‘familial unit’. So when we get together now I love to talk to her, see what she has to say, see what she’s thinking and get her opinion on different things. She’s my intellectual equal (pity for her, eh?) so I love discussing everything from politics to religion and everything in between with her. What I love most is making her laugh though.

When she laughs it is a truly amazing sound – it starts off as a chuckle, but then when it expands it goes down deep to a full on belly laugh, and when I do it right, she ends up with tears streaming out of her eyes, hands clutching her sides begging no more. That’s when she forgets to worry too much about the world and the problems around, and concentrates just on the moment, coming back to life like a diver surfacing for air after an interminably long time in the lightless depths of doldrums. Her face lights up, and all the beauty that hides inside comes to the surface. My nephew will never know how lucky he is to have the mother that he does, and the men of the world would weep to know what a treasure they pass by without attempting to win her. Monkey, I love you and hope that the laughter never ends, and my Christmas wish for you is that you’ll find happiness, and love, and laughter, and light in the darkness of the world to help you pass the hours.

Merry Christmas,

S

I survived another birthday. Happy fuckin’ birthday to me. Now let’s see if I can survive Christmas.

In the immortal words of ICP:

Fuck the world.

S

It occurs to me to realize at odd moments that life is like sex. It equates out to its basest need. Sometimes you want to be tender, you want to caress and hold, you want to be loved with all gentleness possible. And sometimes you just want to fuck. I know that’s a harsh way of saying it, but it’s the truth. Sometimes you don’t want to screw around with the buildup of gentle caresses, you want to get down where the heat meets the pink and ball like you’re absolutely crazy. Life, at least for me, is like that. Some days I want to be the polite respectful lover, to be gentle with it and do the things that I know will make it happy. Other days, I want to bend life over, grab it by the hair and make it my bitch. Go figure. Or maybe I’m crazy? Probably. It doesn’t matter anyways – sex is life in small. It’s the whole cycle in miniature. Just remember that it’s not about the squirt at the end. As King says – that’s God’s way of telling you that you’re done and it’s time to roll over to sleep – for now at least. I believe that. Love, Life, Sex, it’s about the doing, not the finishing. And if that’s not poetic enough for you? I’m already over it.

S