Something Swift this way comes…

Alright, it’s been over a month, I’ve been working my ass off, what little of it there is, and since only two or three people read this thing anyways, not that big of a deal right? Right. So anyways, it’s been one hellacious month. Trying to look into finding a new job, moving my sister from her old house to her new house, dealing with yet /another/ inventory, and working 10 and 15 days straight. Ah well, life sucks, suck it up and move on with it, eh? Yeah, sure, whatever.

So you’re coming here looking for spleen, you’re looking for that visceral vent that I’m so famous for, right? Ah well, not much spleen in this monkey at the moment. I’m actually doing pretty good. Met our new ADSM (assistant district manager for those not in the know) and he’s not a complete fucking tard. As it happens he apparently approaches sales like I do….well holy hell. Radioshlack fucked up and actually put someone in a position of authority that knows what the fuck they’re doing! Don’t worry kids and kittens, it won’t last long. They’ll realize that he might actually serve the customers and make some money for this ailing company and fuck him over and he’ll go somewhere else…maybe shoney’s. (For those of you not in the know, Len Roberts, our current CEO of Radioslut Inc. is the one who nearly drove Shoney’s into the ground. What an excellent fuckin’ business maneuver on RS’s part, ne?).

So he’s not a complete and total dork, but I do have one problem with him. His eyes are really weird. He looks like one of those dolls that you squeeze and the eyes pop really far out on. Other than that he actually seems like a pretty okay guy. Don’t worry though, I’mkeeping my guard up. It may all be a ploy. It’s a trick. Get an Axe.

In other news, the Inventory actually went smashingly. We were done by 10:30 pm saturday evening, then went from 9am-11am sunday morning….it was an actual breeze. Which probably means we’re going to have to recount. ARG! Anyways.

So I’ve hit the point in my life where I’m sitting here preparing for ‘What’s next’. I’ve applied to the local Voke Tech, and they seem like pretty decent people. Hopefully I can go through and get my degree there, certifications and be making 50k a year sometime within the next 5 or 6 years. So while I’m preparing for all of this, my wife, Angie, tells me one day that she’s been feeling really nauseous for the past week or so.

A silent alarm starts to ding in the back of my head.

I ask her if she’s taken anything for it, and yes, of course she has, but she’s still been getting an ill feeling. So this rocks on for about a week and a half or so, then she pops this one on me: Honey, it’s the end of the month and I haven’t had my monthly yet.

Def Con 3, I repeat, we have reach Defcon 3!

A little more, no, strike that, a fucking /lot/ more than a silent alarm is going off in my head. So we agree to get one of those little pee on a stick thingies from the local wallyworld when she gets paid. All this past week I’ve been thinking about it…..Am I ready to be a daddy? Geeze…I’m little more than a huge fuckin’ kid myself! How can I be a daddy? But I think I probably would be a cool dad, one of those that likes to do stuff with the kid, teach them new things, stuff like that, so that part’s covered.

Then: Do I want kids? Well hell, I don’t know…I’m only 26…wait…26….that’s awful fuckin’ close to 30 for comfort. Closer to 30 than 20 anyways….ah hell, I’m getting old! Jesus! Why didn’t someone warn me about this shit?!?! One day you wake up and suddenly wake up and realize that you’re getting older by the minute? What’s that bullshit? So yeah, I really definitely want kids before I’m so old that I’ll never understand their generation….I catch myself thinking (and yes, sometimes saying) “Those damn kids…” and then I catch myself and realize, Hey, I’m not a kid anymore! So yeah, I want kids.

Can we afford them? No, but if you wait till you can afford kids then you never have them. Noone can afford kids, that’s just the way it is. So that’s no problem.

So, we went to Walmart last night and got the piss stick. She wakes up this morning and does her thing and we anxiously pace around for three minutes while the little thing in the window does its thing. And what is it? No. She’s not pregnant. Apparently we’re having a false alarm. *sighs* Jeeze….right when I was having fun, life smacks me between the eyes for a week with a possible miracle, and then, when I’ve decided that yes, I’m ready for kids, I want to be a grownup now, I pay the taxes and take out the trash, it’s time I got a little of the payback, and no soap. Ah well…them’s the breaks as they say around here.

Maybe I’ll just go do something to take my mind off the whole thing….like TP’ing steve’s apartment. *grins* What can I say, I’ll always be a big kid.

S